We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
