All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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