hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
It was confusing and full of hummus
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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