she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
