Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize