she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You're a waste of cheezeits
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Randomize
