Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
