Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize