She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
