nut hugger
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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