I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize