Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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