I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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