don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
