Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
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