Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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