'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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