the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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