i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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