I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
