I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
