Yo dont text me then not text me
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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