Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
