In America we eat man semen.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize