I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
