I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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