96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
