there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize