Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
