She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
