hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
