He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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