He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I could fuck to npr.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize