Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
