Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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