Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
