There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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