I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
