Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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