The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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