he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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