i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Say something about gay babies.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
