It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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