i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
