i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Drunk is not a location!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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