The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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