mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
