Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
