He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
