My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
