I'm jealous of your bromance
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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