the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Randomize
