By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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