I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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