you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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