he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
