There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
