oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
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and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
The air taste purple.
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