thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Panties = found
Randomize
