And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Congratulations! We have a period
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