i would punch a child for taco bell
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
