Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
