just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm too high and old for this...
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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